Love-bombing is a form of manipulation whereby a person bombards their target with an abnormal amount of affection, gifts, flattery and attention in a short space of time. Love-bombing is usually followed by a bait-and-switch where the manipulator will turn on the target and be abusive or distant. The following story is a real-life story provided by Gemma, who recently experienced this strange phenomenon first hand! Gemma describes her experience as '48 hours of weirdness - from initial contact to exit it was like a lifetime relationship plus a divorce!'
On Wednesday morning, I was swiping on a well-known dating app when I matched with a 55 year guy named Mark. He seemed funny, erudite and cheeky. Just my type!
In an effort to assure me he is a real and genuine person, he gives me details of his workplace / employers so I can check him out (which I do).
After a day of texting, he asks if we can speak on the phone. I agree (I know it was too soon but I was enjoying talking to him and my thumbs ached from all the texting!).
This is when things start to get a little weird. We've only been talking for a day and he starts love bombing me, saying things like, "I’ve never felt like this, what’s happening, you’re getting to me, let’s go to Antigua, here’s my favourite love song which is always going to be our song, I think I’m falling in love etc etc." I get a bit uncomfortable and keep laughing (nerves!) and end the conversation by telling him I need to sleep. We say goodnight. I turn my phone to silent and go to bed.
I wake up Thursday to messages and YouTube videos a plenty. I message and comment "that’s a lot of messages," to which he replies, “I am seriously falling for you and I couldn’t sleep. You were on my mind all night - we have to meet, can you do this weekend?” I said I had already got plans that I could not change but we could arrange another time. He said, “no problem. I know you are a busy woman and I want to show you I am serious - I will work around you”.
I mellowed a bit and we exchanged a few flirty messages and then I told him I was off to the gym. He asked for a picture of me in my gym wear. I asked, "why?" and he came back with, “because you are a very sexy woman and I want a picture of you on my phone as a screen saver - message me when you’re back and let’s talk”.
I get in a couple of hours later and i don’t message as I was chatting to a friend on the phone. A message lands saying, “You’ve been ages. Good session?” Yes says me, and he then asked me to take a ‘sexy’ photo of myself and also tells me he’d like to ‘cum on my face’.
Lovely.
I said he was over the line and he apologises. He then tells me he just realised he wanted to watch a documentary on the TV and I could message him but he would be ‘engrossed’ and may not answer but he would speak with me tomorrow. I replied ‘ok’ and then he said, “want to see me in my specs?” He proceeds to send me a photo of him standing in a dressing room. In the photo I could make out female shoes and clothing! Uh oh! More flags than a flag shop!!
I did not message again and the next day he sends me a, “morning” text and then follows up with a second text to say he was going to need to work all weekend so couldn’t meet me as he planned (no plan remember!). I reply to ask why his photo had ladies clothing in it (he was supposedly divorced/ single) and why would he go all out with the ‘fall in love' messages then not want to speak on the phone because he wanted to watch a documentary? I said it was weird and didn’t add up.
To which I got a LONG message that said he hadn’t realised how needy and insecure I was and that those were ugly traits on a woman and whilst he found me attractive and intelligent (like him!) he couldn’t be with someone so screwed up. He then blocked me!
So if you are love bombed by Mark, aged 55, from Reading, be cautious. He is an idiot!!
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Have you been love-bombed? Share your story in the comments below.
Want more real-life dating stories? Take a look at Kyleey's inspiring 'from heart break to happy ever after' story here.