A few years ago, one of my best friends lived through her worst nightmare. This is her story…
“Seven months before our wedding day, my fiancé and partner of seven years told me he couldn’t go through with the wedding because he’d had a change of heart and didn’t feel ready to settle down.
We were supposed to be getting married abroad so everything was already booked and paid for. Telling my family and friends the wedding was off was the most heartbreaking and humiliating thing I’ve ever had to do.
I’d never travelled alone before but I knew I needed to do something drastic to take my mind off what had happened. So a few weeks after my whole world had fallen apart, I got on a plane to Thailand by myself.
It was New Years Eve and I was sitting in a hotel bar in Thailand, waiting for a taxi when I checked my social media.
Nothing prepared me for seeing a picture of the man I was supposed to have been marrying with another girl.
From the picture I could tell this girl was more than just a friend, so naturally, I clicked on the girl’s profile to investigate. Her profile was public and I saw she had statuses about the pair of them Christmas shopping together and her profile picture was a photo of her and my ex in a bar, looking cosy together… taken weeks before when he was still with me.
I was still staring at my phone in shock and disbelief when my taxi pulled up and I lost wifi for the rest of the night.
A couple of days later, still in a daze of raw emotion, I went to one of the Buddhist Temples. I felt really sad and wandered in to a temple where everyone was chanting and praying. I went in and got on my knees and just sat there.
After about five minutes, the strangest thing happened. I felt a ridiculous wave of calmness and peace wash over me. I’d not felt that way in weeks, it was the most incredible feeling.
It was like a profound realisation that I didn’t need to be sad anymore and that my life wasn’t over just because someone decided they didn’t want to be with my anymore. In that moment I knew that my life would go on and that I’d be ok.
After a year of travelling and being single, I was enjoying life. I was surrounded by supportive friends and family and travelling on my own had boosted my confidence.
I’d done things I’d never dreamed of, like travelling to Australia on my own and doing a Skydive – which I did on the day I was supposed to have been getting married to my ex. I felt the need to do something symbolic that day. I also got a tattoo of a Phoenix rising from the ashes.
I knew what I wanted in life and it wasn’t too long before I met someone I liked. He was in a similar boat to me – we were both content and happy with our single lives and had both experienced heartbreak.
We took things slow to begin with but whenever we did talk of the future, I made it clear that if I was ever to get married, I didn’t want a long engagement.
Because of what happened previously, I knew I’d be an anxious wreck.
We’d been dating for two years and I thought we were just on our way out to an anniversary dinner. We walked in to a beautiful building where the inside was all lit up with candles.
Before I realised what was happening, he stopped, got down on one knee and proposed to me.
It was like a scene from a movie and I couldn’t have been happier.
After I said, “YES!” he told me that he’d booked and paid for the venue (so that I’d know he was definitely going to go through with it!) and that in six months to the day, we’d get married in the exact spot he’d just proposed.
When my ex fiance walked out on me, I was absolutely devastated. I mean, I was a broken woman. The life I’d imagined and invested in for seven years was taken away. But I can honestly say I would go through all that pain and heartache again – ten times over – to have what I have today.
Sometimes the life we think we want is nothing compared to what the Universe has in store for us. The only thing we can do is let go and trust.
